I wrote a post similar to this recently and realised that I couldn’t post it. Something in me makes me think that I should have, but in my gut I just couldn’t do it. I’d rather post my experience in a (hopefully) helpful way rather than tarnish my previous experiences. Today’s post is somewhat personal, as it’s something I’ve been seeing a lot of, especially in the last year. You don’t have to settle for bad friendship/relationships in general. And today, I’m telling you why.
Relationships are all about give and take.
This is a really important factor. I like to meet up with friends as much as I possibly can. But when it’s always on their terms, it isn’t exactly fair. I’ve noticed that for some people, I’m always having to do the travelling to see them, and it’s never reciprocated or even offered. That’s just one example, but if any relationship or friendship is ever going to really work, both parties have to match the effort put in. Otherwise, you’ll see things faltering a lot sooner than you think possible.
Quality over quantity.
Per chance, you offered me one loyal solid friend over ten mediocre ones, you can bet that I’ll take the one that I can absolutely rely on. Think about your life and everyone in it: who’s in it that you know is ALWAYS going to be there, no matter what? I think doing this is crucial to see who’s genuinely and absolutely worthy of friendship. I work a 45 hour week with a 20 hour commute, so the spare time I have to spend with people is minuscule as it is. Going forward, I’m spending it with people I know I can rely on and really cherish, knowing that it’s not wasted.
The silver lining to this? It doesn’t reflect on you at all. Other people’s shitty behaviour is nothing to do with you. It may be done in an attempt to affect you, which is downright spiteful, but it reflects only on them. If you’re giving someone 100 and they’re giving you 0, you can find some better friends. Easily. Everyone deserves to have friends who make them feel good, and happy, and content. You might have people in your life and their presence makes you feel bad, or guilty, or tense, something’s gotta give. If you can talk about it and work it out for the long haul, then great. If not, there are plenty more potential friends out there, this I can promise.