My Experience With The Pill, And Why It Wasn’t For Me

Mini Cactus

My Experience With The Pill, And Why It Wasn’t For Me

Today’s post is a bit of a different one and a lot more personal. For girls my age, younger or older, birth control is a pretty common topic. So I thought it was well worth addressing. This post is about my experience with the pill. As well as how my experience sets the example that it isn’t for everyone.

As you’re all likely to know by now, I’ve had acne since I was 10. It was hormonal and cystic at times, AKA: the worst. That, combined with me getting into a relationship when I was 18, made me decide that hormonal birth control was a good idea. No spots and no babies? Sign me up!

Yasminelle, Microlite, and Yasmin were the three pills that I tried. I tried each of them for at least six months at a time. I wanted to really get a feel for whether they were working for me or not. Yasminelle was fine for the first few weeks. But a month or two in, I was having crazy mood swings, and down times that lasted for days on end. I was erratic and emotional constantly, and I knew that this one just wasn’t for me.

So, I went back to my doctor. I wanted something low-dosage with as little side effects as possible. Microlite came on the scene. At first, I thought that I’d found ‘the one’. Wedding bells were ringing, I swear. How wrong was I? My acne soon returned with a vengeance. At times even worse then before I had gone on the pill in the first place. Alongside that, I spotted almost every day. The last thing any girl wants is a constant period, so that one was scrapped too. Don’t get me wrong, I really tried to give it a chance. But when spotting happened every day for nearly three weeks between periods, it had to go.

Next came Yasmin. It has a point all of it’s own, as there’s a lot to tell. This pill changed who I was as a person, and the way that I perceived everything. In the beginning, I had good days and bad. I told myself that it was an adjustment, and that it would settle down eventually. When it went on for months, I was skeptical. But determined to see it out and make it work. I was sick of switching pills and having my hormones all over the place, I just wanted to feel normal.

Yasmin fooled me into thinking that that was how I was meant to feel. That my life was supposed to be one depressive episode after the next. That I was meant to sit in bed crying for no real reason. Believing that this was how I would feel forever. That it wasn’t the pill’s fault, it was just who I was. Needless to say, none of that was true in the slightest. It was my reality, and it scares me that one tiny pill can have that kind of effect on someone’s whole world.

Yasmin caused such a huge amount of damage to my life, it’s insane. I’ve sadly lost a lot of friendships because of the way that this pill made me feel. I didn’t want to drink, or go on nights out, which is something I used to love to do. I didn’t really want to leave my house. In fact, I stopped drinking alcohol because it just magnified how I felt. I genuinely feared my mental state the following day. Honestly, I still do. I was unable to cope with the feelings that came with a mere drink or two, so I learned to avoid them completely out of pure terror. That’s where it had to end, because that’s not the way anyone should live their lives. Yasmin left me in a place where I felt isolated, completely unable to realise these things.

Eventually, it all became too much. It’s really difficult to put into words the magnitude of how bad I was feeling, but I’m trying my best. For someone who doesn’t want kids for at least five years, it came to a point where I’d rather risk getting pregnant than feel that way any longer. When I stopped taking it, I instantly felt SO. MUCH. BETTER. I still feel great a few months down the line, so I know it’s not a coincidence.

It’s unfortunate that it took me so long to realise it. I lost two years of my life feeling that way, as well as several close friends. There were several pros to being on the pill. No babies, my acne laid off considerably, and I got a pair of D-cups out of it. Which I whole-heatedly believe I earned. There’s also cons to coming off it too: the evident higher risk of pregnancy, and my hair has been shedding like crazy.

The point to this post is, the pill isn’t for everyone. I learned that the hard way. But I get to share my experience to prevent anyone else’s hardship in this area, so it’s a good thing to come out of it. I’m quite happy without a hormonal BCP for the time-being. But I am partially considering the implant at the moment, to see if I’ll have more success with it. Please consider speaking with your doctor if you’re feeling any way down or depressed. It’s always worth discussing, whatever the cause.

If you have any queries about your own contraception options, please visit here.

What are your thoughts and experiences with contraction? Good/bad? Leave them below!

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10 Comments

  1. July 31, 2015 / 5:39 AM

    Ugh! Hormones and pills are not fun. Wouldn’t it be great to be male so we wouldn’t have to worry about these things?!?

  2. July 31, 2015 / 1:45 PM

    I’ve always been afraid of it for the reasons you described, but one of my friends is on it and she’s better than ever! So really it depends person to person.
    Emma xo | missemmalouise12.blogspot.ie

    • July 31, 2015 / 2:32 PM

      True! I’m glad that it was successful for her ☺️

  3. July 31, 2015 / 8:59 PM

    Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Hormonal contraception and the effects of it are something that we don’t talk about often enough.

    I think people are generally aware of the differences between the combined pill and the progesterone only pill, but the degree of difference between brands often passes people by. Never mind the myriad of other options that are available.

    Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one for you and sometimes all the trial and error reveals that the pill doesn’t work for you at all.

    I had no trouble with the combined OCP (Yasmin et al), but a history of ocular migraine mean I can’t take them anymore and the progesterone only pill left me feeling like I was having a nervous breakdown so that’s a no go as well.

    Hormonal contraception really isn’t a one size fits all situation and I think that’s something that isn’t highlighted to girls and women as they start trying to figure out which one (if any) is for them. Maybe it’s down to the quality of a persons GP, but since it’s such an important issue there should be a way of ensuring everyone has the same information. I’d suggest sex education, in school, as the outlet for this information but I have no idea whether it has improved in any way since my ridiculously awful experience with it in the 90s.

    • July 31, 2015 / 9:11 PM

      Couldn’t agree with you more. I wish there was more information available so that we can feel confident on the path that we choose, rather than having to do trial and error and risk feeling awful for months on end, if not years. Right now I’m quite happy not taking any hormonal BCP at all, but at the same time, I don’t want that to be my only option.

  4. August 1, 2015 / 11:56 AM

    Yasmin was the first pill I went on when I was 16, and I was on it for about a year. I’m sorry you had such a horrible experience with it love! It seemed to work for me, but didn’t do much to help my horrific period pains and i couldn’t afford to miss college so I changed to cerazette. Cerazette gave me no periods at all but it mad me horrendously ill and sent my anxiety through the roof 🙁 I take Marvelon now and I don’t think I’d change from it ever! It’s completely mellowed out all the things that were a problem, and I know to the day when my period is gonna be and the pains are still bad but significantly reduced so I can go and do things. I feel sorry for the people around me the last 4 years while trying to work out if I was actually being mental or if it was just my pill.

    Unfortunately any sort of contraception is just one of those trial and error things 🙁 The implant scares me too much to even consider it haha! I hope you find something that works for you! xx

    • August 1, 2015 / 12:09 PM

      It’s so confusing! You can’t even recommend anything for anyone because everyone’s experience is so different! I’m happy to go without any hormonal BCP at the moment, but thanks for sharing your experience and support! ☺️

  5. August 6, 2015 / 1:06 AM

    This post was SO interesting to read! I’ve struggled with the pill too, I’m still taking it but I’m still unsure it’s for me. I dont know whats best!

    lillies and lipbalm
    xx

    • aoife.carney@hotmail.co.uk
      August 6, 2015 / 8:46 AM

      Just don’t leave it too long, I thought I’d eventually adjust, but things just got steadily worse! If you’re still feeling a bit strange in a week or two, have a chat with your doctor and see what they think. They may know best!

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